All my life I’ve been the fat kid.
It didn’t help that I lived in France for a while where I towered above all of my classmates in elementary school. Nobody was shy about talking about my weight, not even the grown-ups. I remember one kid teasing me and asking me “How much do you way? 50 kilos???!?!” And I said “No….” (because I actually weighed more than that).
The doctor I went to in France wanted to put me on a diet. I was eleven. I remember him talking to me about the things I should and shouldn’t eat and all I could think was that I don’t make the meals in the house…I just eat whatever is set in front of me and whatever my family is eating.
In high school, I decided I’d had enough and started running every day and basically starving myself. I would skip breakfast, have an apple for lunch, have a small portion of whatever meal was prepared for dinner, and I avoided sweets. Towards the end of that school year, people started noticing changes in my body. But I wasn’t skinny enough to be called thin, even though I had lost a good amount of weight. So, still, I was the fat kid.
So I wonder…when/if I make it to my goal weight, will the doctors still classify me as “obese” according to the BMI chart? Will people still call me “big-boned” or “curvy”? And most importantly, when I look in the mirror will I be able to see myself as I truly am? Or will I always be the fat kid?