They say there is no greater feeling than being skinny, but, I don’t know, ’cause it feels pretty great to stuff my face with doughnuts.
I am really struggling this week with cravings. It is getting real. I’m on my fourth week and resisting bad things has not gotten any easier! WILL IT EVER BE EASY?! Or will I always have to plug my nose when I walk past a bakery so I don’t smell the freshly baked goodness that I can’t have?
I’m already planning my first cheat meal in my head. Should I even have a cheat meal? Can I allow myself to cheat and then get right back to being strict? What if it makes me lose my progress? What if I just miss cake too much?
Here is a list of all the bad foods that I have resisted eating this week:
Monday: a burger from Wendys, pasta, movie theater popcorn, cake.
Tuesday: Rice Krispie Treats
Wednesday: Didn’t have to resist anything directly, today. I felt kind of sick, actually and had a very low appetite.
Thursday: Today was the day of the big fondue party for my classes. I stayed up until midnight last night making everything; cutting up chocolate, smelling it as it melted in the crockpot. And then I was around it all day today. You wouldn’t believe the number of times that I had to stop myself from popping a marshmallow in my mouth. There were also rice krispie treats there, so…. it’s so surprising to me that it is so easy for me to subconsciously just put junk food in my mouth. But I didn’t cheat at all. I didn’t have a drop of chocolate or one little fluffy marshmallow. I did eat a lot of pickles. 🙂
Friday: Today was the last day of school. We had a day of fun for the students, so I was kept pretty busy and didn’t have much time to think about food. It was a pretty easy day as far as temptations go, plus, I got to run around with the students, playing kickball and sharks and minnows. Good day.
Saturday: Today, on the other hand, was really really difficult. Starting with the good news: I stuck to my keto diet! (Yay me!) and I am really proud of myself. I was doing well in the morning. I got up early and filmed a video for my Youtube channel, drank some coffee, got ready for the day. James and I left around 10 (going to a wedding) and I had enough forethought to pack some almonds, cheese, and water for the road trip. We met up with my brother and sister when we got to our destination and we had some time to kill before the wedding, so we ordered some lunch from a Mexican place. I was looking at the menu, trying to see what I could order that would be keto approved and there wasn’t really anything. But I thought I could just pull ingredients from the menu that I knew would be keto and have them put it all in a bowl (like a burrito bowl). So we sent our husbands out to to get the food. My meal came back completely wrong. I had ordered steak with guac and cheese and lettuce (no tortilla, no rice, no beans) and they gave me a burrito (tortilla) filled with steak and what looked like a whole can of beans. I’m not gonna lie, I almost cried. It’s hard enough as it is to resist having a cheat meal and then, when you get something that is so wrong from what you ordered and you can’t eat two-thirds of it….. So for lunch, I basically just had some cubed steak (i did add some shredded cheese to it).
Then, we went to the wedding, which was beautiful, by the way. I love weddings, but I always find them bitter-sweet, so sometimes, like today, they can make me a bit sad. So I reallllllly wanted those comforting mashed potatos and macaroni when I went through the dinner line. But I didn’t take any. And then, I thought “I could just have one bite of cake…” and tried to calculate in my head how many carbs that would be and wondered if it would throw me out of ketosis. But I resisted that too.
So, in the end, success! But, it was a really difficult day. I was so emotional about having to deprive myself of those carbs and sweets, and feeling that way made me ever more depressed because I feel like I’ll never get rid of my “inner fat kid”.
Looking back on this week, I am just so proud (is it wrong to be?) of all the temptations that I resisted. Here’s hoping it gets a little bit easier in the weeks to come.